tired of my life

i'm actually having my exam fm on the 7th may 2009..

i can honestly tell everyone that i'm not ready..

and i might give up but because of rm400.. i still need to struggle..

until now.. 26th april 2009..

i still have 11 chapters to go.. and in total there are 19 chapters..

do u think i will pass? i dun think so..

if i have 24 hours to study for a day.. only study..

but i dun have.. i have to go to work..

sometimes.. during working hours.. if the boss has nothing for u to do..

den u can study lo.. but sometimes he's free den sien dy lo..

later after work.. come back home.. go makan den back home about 8plus dy..

study for a while (if got mood) no mood? den habis loh..

waste few hours lo.. mostly i dun have mood de.. although my laptop will be off during weekdays

but it'll still be the same.. no mood means no mood..

about 11 plus? wanna sleep dy lo.. haih ~~~

1 day finish.. so day and day pass.. what have i done for today?

it's the same.. no study only wasting time..

but it's so damn tired.. how can i manage all this problems?

can someone help me? i really no mood to study anymore..

really wanna give up.. please anyone help me !!!!

arrrrggggghhhhh !!!!!!

long month has just passed

long month? it's only a month..

but last month really damn lots of things happen

my internship lo.. den getting really nervous and i can feel the pressure cos my exam FM is just around the corner.. 

den my lao gong's grandma is back.. so every weekend we will go to accompany her..

but she just went back to New Zealand today..

i dun understand myself..

cos when she's here.. i seems to feel that she dun like me and that my lao gong spend most of his time with her.. and treat her even more better than treat me..

she'll said i'm fat.. my leg is not nice.. and etc..

den make me really no mood to go see her.. 

but i do respect her as my own grandma.. and still go accompany her every weekends when she's around.. although i'm always down after i go..

but i can say i'm quite happy oso la.. although sometimes end up arguing with my lao gong..

just a snap.. it's already a month.. 

and she's already 78 years old.. how many times a person can have their 78?

so,i just can do my very best to treat her really well and hope can repay all her hardwork that she've done for my lao gong when he's young..

now that she's on the MAS airplane.. far away from here dy..

i started to miss her.. which i feel weird..

but i can see she's a good grandma for sure.. 

just have to say sorry to whatever i've done wrong all this while and my bad attitude..

hope she and my lao gong can forgive me for what i've done last month..

SORRY ~~~

now really can feel the pressure from my exam dy..

start to get nervous dy.. cos still got a lot of chapters and i dun hav much time left..

i oso how tis time.. really feel like crying sometimes.. 

but i can't be that weak.. i must stand up !!!

i can't give up.. i must try my best..

gambate jenna ong !!!!

-bad temper-

this few weeks i'm really bad temper..

i dunno what actually happen to me..

but i think it's cos of my lao gong has not much time for me like always..

he need to spend time with his grandma cos she' back from NZ..

den he need to spend time studying for all his midterm and assignments..

so, he only has 24 hours a day.. den he used up most of his weekends in his grandma's place

and weekdays for studies.. 

i do understand that he's busy.. i shouldn't have disturb him and throw my temper right at his face

he's really suffering i can c.. but girls will always be girls..

i can't control how i feel.. i can't control my tears..

everything just come and go.. i can't control it..

i'm sorry if i treat anyone bad tis few weeks..

please forgive me.. 

i'll try to let go everything.. and forget about everything..

and work happily and study happily..