What's the point?

What's the point for paying RM400 (i still owe my sister this amount) and study damn hard day and night , without having enough sleep when the date is approaching and pek cek-ing most of the time moreover make myself no mood everyday resulting in arguement with my loved ones.

Eating maggi mee for 2 meals a day and finish 5 packets in 4 days?

What's the point? For my future? As an actuary? Is it really my dream?

I'm lost now. 

After been through everything, and what I got? -We are regret to inform you that your test results shows that you were not successful in achieving the passing score established by the SOA for Exam FM- Thank you very much. Thanks for all the trouble.

Thanks for all the things I've been through this few months.

Not forgetting the tired internship from 8.30am - 5.30pm and come back still need to face you (FM Manual) but this is how you repay me? !@!#$#%$#%^%$^%$&@$#%

I'm really lost now. Lost in the sense that should I really continue with this route? or should I find the route that I really like? such as designing, cooking, teaching? 

but I'm already half way through and had already waste RM1600 (RM400 - Exam P fail  + RM400 -Exam FM fail  + RM400 - Exam FM again fail again  + RM300 for passport that bring me to nowhere yet + RM100(lebih kurang) for all the travelling expenses to the exam for 3 times)

I really don't get the point yet? Still so lost.

However, from all the frustration I've been through, 

Thanks to my parents, they support me really much. 

Thanks to my lao gong. Although he's busy this few weeks but he spend a lot of time to text me whenever I'm down and accompanying me when I really need him. Thanks.

Thanks to my friends (all of them)

I can see who's my true friend now. Thanks for supporting me and asking me to study all the time (u know who you are). 

And lastly thanks to myself for having the courage to go through all this. haha. Without going through all this, I really don't know that I'm that dicipline. I can OFF my laptop for about 2 weeks when I'm peejay. Unbelievable !!! But believe me, it's true.

What's done is done. Next step is to enjoy myself to the fullest without FM Manual anymore.

Yeah !!!!