BACK TO WHERE I BELONG

I'm back to where I belong and what I'm suppose to be..

Back to my worst nightmare..

Back to the place I don't like..

But even my lao gong also don't understand what is happening to me..

Even myself know.. I have no other solution..

But just to face it..

So many advice given..

So many experience shared..

So many encouragement given..

But still I don't want to face all these things..

I'm scare of the outcome..

I'm lost..

Totally lost this time..

I don't want to come back to reality..

I want to stay in fairy tales..

I found it more comfortable there..

Cos everything ends happily ever after..

Meanwhile, I just finish my midterm break..

This is what I've been on Saturday..

Half day trip to...

the road taken to the place...

the thing that keep me awake ~~

everyone !!!

nice.. vege pao

nice "wu kok"

at pantai remis..

nice background..

like this feeling..

love this photo so much..

ah pek tengah "fan".. wahahahaha

jumping pose..

the tower in Kuala Selangor

me n my lao gong..

on the way up to the hill..

hahaha..

time for sepak takraw..

like this photo.. so nice..

i hate them !!!

artistic..

the 4 guys..

For the rest of the photos..

Please do check out in facebook..

I'm too tired to upload it here.. hahahaha..

TQ!!!

POSTPONE

Nowadays, in my head.. that's smtg really popular..

a very damn popular word that i'll always use..

not only a word la.. there's a few words..

introducing the first word.. "LATER"

the second word.. "LAZY"

the third word.. "TIRED"

all these 3 words are always in my dictionary..

always.. hahahaha..

so, until now there's so many things i haven't do due to the popularity of these 3 words..

so,there's a long list of what i need to do during and after this sem break..

1) study for french test (25 aug 09)

2) try to do QC's tutorials for the class (25 aug 09)

3) study for life insurance test (26 aug 09)

4) settle time series assignment (due 27 aug 09)

5) study for time series test (3 sept 09)

6) study for risk theory test including settle the tutorials before test(8 sept 09)

wah !!! 6 things in 3 weeks.. how to settle?

i think i need to get out from the crowd and become unpopular for a while..

cos there's so much to do and so little time..

out-dated for a while shouldn't be a problem... =p

but meanwhile, tomorrow i need to rest myself for a while..

cos time to go for a half day trip..

hope i can enjoy to the fullest..

and then come back to the reality.. yeah !!!

RANDOM POST

Something to post randomly..

MY FEELINGS again..

really feel very lazy nowadays..

withdraw from exam FM.. suppose to feel relieve

but i feel a bit guilty..

dunno what really happen..

but i feel guilty to my parents and family..

all of them think i'm studying real hard for my future..

as a matter of fact..

my laziness has covers my whole body and now it covers my life..

how can i remove it from my body first?

can anyone teach me?

I'm really disappointed with myself..

in my head now is "when i'm graduating?"

i wanna earn money and go shopping n travel everyday without worries..

sounds easy huh? but i know it will not happen so soon..

cos i need to work real hard to achieve tat dream..

suddenly feel like i'm in an empty and deep hole..

i can't come out..

i need help.. i need to study hard..

i need to achieve my dream..

-MY BABY-

bought myself a new baby yesterday..

i hope to get the new baby half a year ago..

but i just bought it yesterday..

thanks to my lao gong..

i'm really really happy to get this baby..

my baby..

pinky baby..

lumix FS62

SEMESTER BREAK

Finally, time for me to take my break..

Tired after so many weeks of test, assignments, tension, pressure..

Now it's my time to rest (for a few days..)

Break don't know it's good or bad also.. hahaha..

cos after the break more n more things are coming up

all the subjects midterm are coming lo.. wat else?

but i still take my take to rest and relax in coming week..

tonite 1st stop, i'll be going to genting..

although at 1st, dun really feel like going.. but then when decided to go..

i'll enjoy to the fullest.. yeah !!!

Happy holiday everyone !!!

-GIVE UP-

At last, I GIVE UP !!!

I've withdraw from Exam FM this 14th August 2009..

Cos I'm too scare to face the truth as I'm not ready for the exam yet.

Thought dun wanna waste money cos I'll fail the paper..

mana tau refund oso waste money..

I've paid USD 114 for the paper den refund only can get back USD14..

but refund oso la.. cos dun wanna make myself disappointed anymore..

Now suddenly feel like no longer interested in this field..

I feel like I'm more interested in learning something related to software in statistics..

such as SAS, R, Java, Matlab and etc...

and interpret and presenting it statistically to all the bosses that don't understand anything related to statistics or software.. wahahahahha.. can tipu them ma..

therefore, i think i might delay my progress in taking all the actuarial papers cos i oso got no heart to study for it.. so better waste USD100 than USD114 lo..

hehehe.. but mana tau.. i received an e-mail yesterday saying that I've been approve to cancel the exam and get to refund USD68.. meaning i only rugi USD46 (RM160 like that la)

so,meaning I've proof myself right by withdrawing from the exam lo..

But i still need to face with lots of midterm n quizzes..

hopefully i can manage to graduate next year la... hahahaha

last few days attend so many ppl convo.. make myself wanna graduate early..

regret taking actuarial science in the 1st place.. cos it's 4 years.. waste of time.. hahahaha

rather take statistics.. cos it's only short n compact 3 years..

but can't do anything now.. faster faster end tis 1 more year den can work lu...

ah soon, sing yeh n simon (hock hilang dy)

me n sing yeh..

sing yeh n my lao gong..

-PEK CEK TIME-

issit my PMS time?

no la.. of course.. just a period for all my exams, quiz and assignment..

i found it really pek cek.. with my FM coming nearer and nearer and next week with 2 quiz and 1 assignment to hand in.. and i'm still blogging now..

this few days, i got a bit unhappy with something happen..

but then my lao gong tried to cheer me up and brought me to watch transformers 2..

thanks lao gong.. without u.. i think i got no mood to do anything dy..

i really found out that there's no such thing as true fren..

when i start treating someone as my true fren.. a lot of things will happen..

i just wanna stay happy and with no worries with no politics..

is that so hard?

but i can honestly tell everyone.. it's damn damn hard !!!!

i dun understand y malaysian are that kia-su !!!

i'm just trying to go on with my life and be happy with it..

that's all.. y everyone are trying to mess up my life?

some people like to see you unhappy den they'll be happy..

really dun understand this kind of people..

c'mon !!! go on with ur life..

dun make other people's life unhappy as yours please !!!

HAPPY WITH MY LIFE

I'm totally happy with my life now.

Although I don't get to see my lao gong everyday and actually we argue most of the time we met.

Maybe it sounds normal to some people because we are 4 years and 8 months together already.

Last month, we met everyday for a month and stay together too under one roof.

That one month, we actually argue most of the time but I admit I do hate him a lot sometimes.

But I still love him no matter how.

Sometimes, I've been started to think, we have not get married and we already have so much argument between us over a small tiny matter.

Will we every survive until the day we get married? This question begin to repeat in my mind for a month long. But until last week I still don't know the answer yet.

But now, I can confidently tell everyone that, " We will definitely survive until the day we get married. " This is sure because both of us are clear that we love each other very much and we like being in each other life.

As a girl, I'm the one that always start the argument. Over tiny tiny things.

For example, I'm a easily "get-jealous" person.

So, whoever that goes near or even talk to my lao gong, I'll get angry at my lao gong although he's not the one starting the conversation.

It's just a simple conversation and I'm there but just don't know why I'll get angry.

Silly me !!! But no worries, now anyone and everyone can talk to my lao gong.

I Promise not to get angry at him !!! hahahaha.. Maybe cause I've grow up.

Everything I look at the past is totally different from how I look at it now.

I'm sure with what we have been through this few years, our feelings to each other is getting stronger day by day.

I'm sure I'm ready for my big day to accept this guy as my other half and to accompany through my life.

This semester is totally a busy semester for me. Because I'll be taking my Financial Mathematics Exam (Exam FM) on the 14th of August 2009. And I'm not fully prepare for it but I'll be fully prepared for this war as I don't want to fail anymore. At the same time, in university, I'm taking french, aerobics and 4 more major subjects which I find it quite thought cause my basic is not that strong. This semester is definitely tough for me and I don't want to be failure anymore.

I'll be hardworking starting from now.

Everything is like so clear now.

Previously I'm living under the sea and I can feel all the pressure that's in the water.

But now I found my way out and I can see the world is so wonderful and I can breathe without all the pressure.

I'm so happy.

So calm ~~~

-NEW SEMESTER-

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm starting my new semester in 8 hours and 10 minutes from now..

Am i nervous? No way man !!! not 1st year also. but final year already. old already. haha

but let me tell u what i did before my new semester starts la.

I come back to 677 just now at about 10 something.

den i become so down n disappointed..

firstly, i come n den i c at the front door.. there's a lot of papers lying down on the floor..

do i pick it up? it's already 10pm at night. do u think I'll pick it up?

secondly, i come inside.. i c a lot of shoes scattered at the floor..

SHIT !!! there's a shoe rack for them.. y can't they just put nicely at the appropriate place..

dun understand why ????

thirdly, go inside room.. there is ants near my wardrobe..

shit !!! why ???

i asked my roommate.. she said cos there's a dragonfly in the waste paper basket.. n she can do experiment on the ants repellent..

huh? y suddenly got a dead dragonfly in there? y she didn't just pack the plastic bag n throw it outside?? y?? i really got blur??

den she told me tat dragonfly died on my bed yesterday n she throw it in the waste paper basket and she said she knew there'll be ants later on..

but y she didn't just pack it up n throw it away????

still dun understand..

so, end up.. i throw it away lo..

wat a tiring night.. i'm just trying to rest and stay happily in this house..

but why there are so many problems??

but i can say that nowadays i'm very hot tempered..

i dunno why.. but i do get angry easily and i get angry at certain people easily..

all i need to do is just control my temper and dun care about so many things..

i'll try to forget about what everyone has done in the past and my new semester will be a new start for me !!!

each n everyone has their own personality and i'll try to accept each n everyone of them !!!

and i need to know the word TOLERATE !!!

i must know that word !!!!

-MY FEELINGS-

Nowadays dunno what happen to me.. maybe i really grow up dy..

after my internship den haven't start new sem yet.. too free at home..

i think about so many things.. especially those past things la..

i think about what have i done last time..

i think about the things i've done issit rite or wrong..

i think about am i too emotional to do smtg..

i think about my own attitude..

i think about a lot of things..

i really dunno in the past..

i'm childish or i'm selfish..

but i think now i got the answers dy..

in the past, i'm a very bad bad girl..

i always think about myself first..

never really think about others feelings..

no matter when..

i've hurt so many ppl by talking..

hopefully they'll forgive me..

but from today onwards..

i never wanna think about the past anymore..

i'll be good to everyone..

and i'm sure i'll do it..

never ever think about myself again..

never be selfish..

never judge a book by it's cover..

n never be emotional again...

sorry to those ppl that i've hurt in the past..

i'll change..

I WILL !!!

SORRY ~~